2013 is a testament to that. My employer implemented a challenge to get us all up and moving every day. The challenge came with a reward: walk 10,000 steps a day, every day for a month and a half, and earn Black Friday off. We all started out well. We took walking lunches once or twice a week, ate at Sonic less and less, and were more conscious of moving. I saw a huge difference in myself, and started seeing a difference in my pants.
The challenge lasted for a month and a half. And, I'm quite happy to report, collectively, we did make it. But, as the weather turned, we walked as a group less. Some stopped walking all together. Others who were more motivated walked and moved more, earning 50k and 70k steps or step equivalents.
Me? I pulled through and marched in place with my two year old and got my 10k a day more often than not. Some days more.
The end of the challenge was the same for me as everyone else: we all dropped off the moving bandwagon. We stayed in our seats more. Walking lunches stopped (though, this probably had as much to do with Boise's weather as it did with no longer having that challenge). We all shoved our noses back in to our work and forgot about walking. Myself included.
A challenge is great. It motivates and pushes, but, when the challenge is over, the motivation goes away. And the pants start fitting again.
In the true spirit of pushing and challenging myself, I've already started making good on the things I'd like to change in 2014. My first term in Graduate school yielded amazing results: straight As. And I hope to repeat that feat this next term. I'm pushing myself to grow and to change, and not playing it safe.
Most importantly, I'm not letting fear get in my way anymore.
Fear has ruled my life for as long as I can remember. Growing up horseback riding on the hunter-jumper circuit in Southern California, I was scared to death to jump. I wanted to do dressage. My trainers had other plans for me. They got me jumping. First over tiny little things, then, the jumps got bigger. I still think there's little more exhilarating than riding an extended trot across a diagonal line. The collection through the corner to create the explosive power across the largest portion of the arena to only be collected and bottled back up in the next corner is truly the most freeing experience I've had. But, it's also controlled. It's safe. Horse and rider are communicating the entire time, and the horse is able to leave decisions up to the rider (not that the horse will always follow those decisions).
Jumping is an entirely different experience. For the entire time the horse and rider are in the air, the rider only has control over her own body. Leading up to the jump, the rider has to relinquish a certain amount of control to the horse; yes, the rider may get to choose the spot, lengthen or shorten the horse's stride to help select the best take-off point, but, it's a small level of control. My trainer used to say, "once you round that corner, the line is done. Look through the jumps and to the next corner."
When I could push my fear of the large 4' jumps with spreads just as wide and follow her advice, it was easy. I'd come round the corner, two half-halts inside the turn to collect and stead the horse, see the spot, adjust the stride, and count. Three, two, one, jump one. One, two, three, four, jump two. Land, one stride, half-halt, and regain control. Half-halt in the corner. Inside leg to push the shoulder up into the outside rein. And look to the next jump.
I never let go of my fear. It always rode right along side with me, in my back pocket or under my chin strap. But, sometimes, it didn't drive me but shaped me. It allowed me to calculate all the variables and set myself and the horse up for success for that giant leap into the unknown. And, when the leap was over, I could take control again and guide the horse to the next jump.
I've already started taking the reins and using fear to help guide me, even though it's not 2014. I'll never be able to let go of my fear. But, in 2014, I can keep it from controlling my every move. Here's to pushing forward in 2014, to new adventures, taking advantage of all my talents, and setting myself and my family up for the same successes I experienced in the hunter arena.
