Back on Track

I admit, I slacked my way through December. I know I wrote some, and I know I spent some time editing, but mostly I slacked. I know I didn't write my full 500 much more than four or five times.

Today though, I did it. I wrote my 500, and I edited. And in the process of this writing, I was reminded of something very important, very disheartening, and something we all want to ignore: much of what I will write is complete and utter crap. That's right, it's junk. It will be scratched and thrown out the window faster than...well...faster than whatever awful thing is discovered in the fridge and finally thrown out.

I sat down tonight to add to a story I've been working on for a while. It was really just a scene. It was sad. It pulled at heart strings. I've made people cry who read it.

The crying is why I wanted to continue it. I evoked an emotional response. I like evoking an emotional response from my reader. And, I quite liked the characters. So, I thought on the scene and the characters, and I thought about who they are, why they were so sad. What brought them to the place where they were at? I had it all lined up in my head and ready to go. I sat down at my computer tonight to write it.

First, I cut a good half a page from the scene. Just a word here and there, and unnecessary sentence. I wasn't discouraged - I breathed new life into the scene.

And then it happened - everything I had decided about the characters was wrong, and it went write out the window. When I let them take care of themselves, the characters told me what they wanted to do, and how and where and when and why they wanted to do it. And, I have to admit, I like this new direction much better.

Here's where the utter crap part comes in. At first, I was rambling. I had an idea for the next scene; a new character that wanted to make himself known, so I went with it. And, immediately, I hated it. It wasn't going anywhere. The details were all wrong - nothing anyone would care about. And to top it all off, the scene dragged. It wouldn't end. I couldn't get it to an end. I realized the main character of the scene had contradicted himself at least twice.

I dropped what I had, and started over again. I didn't delete. I didn't want to loose my word count. But I did start over. And I liked it better. I wasn't completely discouraged by the words that appeared on the page. And I have reason to go at this again tomorrow.

How's your 500 coming along?